so this just occurred to me.

someone never understood why i'm a little things person but honestly, it's the little things that matter in the end. doing laundry, picking out clothes, going shopping together and cleaning bathrooms. some may think this doesn't add up but i have plenty of proof that it does.

a year ago today is when my life took a dramatic turn. it's when i realized i was kidding myself and living in a dream world. a year later, i still don't know what to make of it. i don't know if i ever will.

do i miss him? no. do i miss what it once was? of course. but like i just said, i was living a dream and sooner or later, everyone wakes up from the best dreams.

thank goodness for alcohol, in particular sangria.

You have to be f*cking kidding me.

I'm going to go nuts. Scratch that. I'm GOING nuts.

This is insane. Why can't anyone respect the fact that I enjoy how my life is right now? Seriously! I've realized that the only thing I miss about being in a relationship is someone to bitch to about my family!! Oh my gosh...I'm going to have a conniption is this continues.

Okay, I'm not torn anymore. You can go and write "DUMBASS" across my forehead now because seriously, that's what I am.

Tonight, I relived more of my past than I would have ever liked. It was ridiculous.

"But you're good at these things."

So what if I am!?!? Freaking do it yourself already! and if you're going to ask me for help, don't fucking guilt me into helping you or make me believe that you actually consider me a friend or someone special. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit!!Yeah, you may say I'm blowing this out of proportion but you know what!?!? When all is said and done, I still won't mean that much. Let's just admit it: I'm just good for homework, picking out birthday and christmas gifts, sending flowers, remembering to call, cooking and updating resumes and cover letters.

Well guess what? I quit.

so i'm just torn about a lot of things right now. now, i'm just anxiously waiting to move out. i can't wait. Then I can start baking and cooking again. Living at home is not good for my health on so many levels.

i wish there was someone i could talk to. why are all my friends flaking out on me!?!? ugh, this is so frustrating.

on the bright side, slowly but surely i'm getting family excited about a reunion. yay!

So I find it hard to believe that he's that big of an ass. I mean, he has friends so clearly some people like him. Yesterday, I was thinking about it and it occurred to me that perhaps his a-hole behavior is a defense mechanism on his part. Given the way things happened, it kind of makes sense, right? I mean, I purposely act like a bitch sometimes just because it's easier to not get close or involved again. But I don't understand why he takes it to such extremes. I mean, honestly, is it really necessary to be such a jerk after all this time?

I have no desire to study organic chemistry. I was never good at it and now I'm trying to teach it? It doesn't seem right. Surprisingly, I did REALLY well on the chem section. I think I did better on chem than I did on the verbal and reading comprehension. VERY messed up if you ask me but that's how it ended up. Anyhow, I myself don't even remember stuff about delocalization and orbitals. Oy!

Must concentrate. Obviously, that's not going too well at this point. =)

blog later,
me.

Welcome to the new venting space. It was time for a change. The fan club numbers were growing too rapidly. Besides, this way, there's a lot more anonymity. If you find this place, then kudos to you.

I need to go for a walk.

blog later,
me.